“My own definition of confidence is ‘being there.’ This means being in the moment and acting with intention, not distracted by second thoughts or being ‘in your head.’ Not listening to your inner critics or assuming what others are thinking of you, judging or presupposing ‘their’ reaction instead of just moving forward—and confidently.”
“When sensitive people are in environments that nurture their authenticity, they laugh and chitchat [and make small talk] just as much as everyone else.”
“You once said that you would like to sit beside me while I write. Listen, in that case I could not write at all. For writing means revealing oneself to excess; that utmost of self-revelation and surrender, in which a human being, when involved with others, would feel he was losing himself, and from which, therefore, he will always shrink as long as he is in his right mind… . That is why one can never be alone enough when one writes, why there can never be enough silence around one when one writes, why even a night is not night enough.”
“Studies have shown that … introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read, to say that they can express the ‘real me’ online, and to spend more time in certain kinds of online discussions. They welcome the chance to communicate digitally. The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall of two hundred people might blog to two thousand, or two million, without thinking twice. The same person who finds it difficult to introduce himself to strangers might establish a presence online and then extend these relationships into the real world.”
The Power of Introverts: A Manifesto for Quiet Brilliance
A Q&A with Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts. I purchased this book earlier this week. My co-worker sent me the article today asking if I’d seen it. She’s an extrovert of extroverts, I’m an introvert of introverts. We’ve had many discussions of our differences. :)
Here are some highlights —
“It’s also important to understand that introversion is different from shyness. Shyness is the fear of negative judgment, while introversion is simply the preference for less stimulation. Shyness is inherently uncomfortable; introversion is not. The traits do overlap, though psychologists debate to what degree.”
“[W]henever you try to pass as something you’re not, you lose a part of yourself along the way.”
“Our schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for extroverts… . It’s never a good idea to organize society in a way that depletes the energy of half the population.”
On the mistaken emphasis on working together and the “pitfalls of groupwork” — “When you’re working in a group, it’s hard to know what you truly think.”
“In our culture, snails are not considered valiant animals – we are constantly exhorting people to “come out of their shells” – but there’s a lot to be said for taking your home with you wherever you go.”
Amen and amen.
(Yet another I want and am resisting. Posting here shall be enough for me! And living out the quote shall be its completion.) :)
“Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.”
A friend of mine just sent me these rules. I wholeheartedly concur! Follow them and tend to your introverted friends with care. Whenever I see such lists or advice, I am reminded of this incredible article I read from The Atlantic some years ago. Without fail, the best article on the topic I’ve read. In fact, at the time I printed a quote from it that still hangs in my office.
A gift to myself. Humor and wisdom, with a nod to introversion; a great combination.
